(Feeling) Rich and I Know It

As I was exchanging tweets with So What’s News? (SWN) last Friday, the topic on how to strut like a rich kid came about. And he suggested that I blog about it and because I thought it was a good idea and I don’t  have anything in mind lately, I fell for it. Gullible me! 😀

Now, here are some tips which will surely elevate your stature among your peers and those around you. 😉

1. Insert ‘dude’ or ‘parehhh’ every chance you get when talking to your friends or colleagues;
2. Just make sure you let in your cohorts into this and you better huddle in the pantry or somewhere safe where you can hatch your plan to lookin’ rich;
3. And to effectively pull the ‘dude’ and ‘parehhh’ effect, it is a requirement to say it in the most coñotic accent you can muster;
4. Since  you’re getting the hang of #3, you may as well try using ‘epic!’, ‘FTW’ or ‘firande’ whenever the situation calls for it;
5. Whenever you’re unsure of what to say, use ‘it’s like…’ or ‘parang’ in the most kolehiyala accent your feeling-rich-self will allow. If you need tutoring on this accent, best resource persons are Ruffa Gutierrez and Kris Aquino;
6. If you can’t afford their TF or you don’t have internet connection to check them on Youtube, I can make turo you na lang. It is my sincere advocacy to make palaganap talaga the kolehiyala accent, you know 😉
7. Say ‘I know, right!’ when you concur… ok fine, agree with your cohorts, este, friends pala.

This is really the worst part of looking rich: when you’re out of moolah and can’t get your hands on that ridiculously-hyped ice cream stick that is now the benchmark of being shashall (it is a talent to say this word in the most ‘shashall’ way possible).

Check the best alternative: DICS (Dirty Ice Cream in Style)

Grab your cohorts and talk about wanting to get streetsmart and you’re starting it out by eating street food. Isaw (grilled chicken or pork innards) and kwek-kwek (quail eggs in orange color batter) are good options too but because it’s insanely hot these days, let’s stick to eating DICS (that kind of came out wrong no?) 😉

• Try wearing a scarf and sunnies (yes, that’s how the rich call their ‘shades’… and I heard that from my oh-so-shashall sister too huh!)
• Hold your dirty ice cream’s cone with your pinky sticking out for that really shashall effect (thank you SWN for this swanky tip 😉 )
• Hold it like so as you twirl it about and lick the sides of your cone so that it won’t make tulo on your scarf
• Grab that camera phone and have a shot with Manong Sorbetero so your amigas will see how cute and cool you are.
• It will be better if you Instagram’d and Foursquar’d it so that it will simultaneously update your Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Flickr, Tumblr and all the other social networks and online photo storage sites you signed up on.
• Then go check the tips I listed again. You just can’t go wrong.

Cheers to all the Manggagawa tomorrow! And if  you’re going to join rallies or whatever on Labor Day… Let’s Make Baka! Don’t be Takot!  (.^___^.)