My birthday often comes and goes without much hoopla because I’m not a fan of huge celebrations. I like spending it with friends and family and this year, on my birthday, it’s exactly nine months; that’s 273 days since we lost our father last January 5.
I looked back at our photos and I realized I don’t have a lot of photos with my father (or with any of my family members) because most of the time, I’m the one behind the camera. But the rare times I have my picture with him or with the rest of the family, it’s because he orders my brother to take the camera from me so I can be in the photos as well. Feeling like a daddy’s girl! 😀
If I can have one wish on my birthday, I wish I can spend it with my Tatay. It’s been nine months but it still feels raw. On Friday nights, I miss seeing him lying on the couch, watching RJ tv or falling asleep as he wait for me to come home from my usual (or not-so-usual 😉 ) nightouts with friends. I miss his text messages written in all caps, not because he’s mad but he just likes to text that way. It’s so easy to overlook the little things because you got so used to it and when it’s finally gone, you miss it and wish you could have more of those things that you so carelessly ignored.
It’s a different birthday. Our first fatherless birthday. Yup, my sister and brother are also October babies. Seems like they had us all timed just they wanted it.
In my grief, I’m still grateful. That I’m born with the parents that I have. They are so far from perfect but I love them to death. And my sister and brother and their little families too. And the friends and relatives who saw me from my pimply-faced teenage years to my less-repulsive face today. hahaha 😀 And those handful of people who saw me both at my best and worst, yet loved me anyway. Thank you. And know that though I may not always show it, I do love you. Always.
To everyone who greeted me, thank you for taking time out to write a little message for me. It’s the little things that make for a beautiful day. Cheers to all of us! ♥