Tag Archives: Maxine

Bitchy Comebacks #2

This post is inspired by our co-passengers onboard the van bound to Busuanga Airport. Obviously, these are Manileñas too, who happen to be so annoying that even the nicest in our group was peeved at them.

The seat can accommodate four people and I was already squeezed by the window as well as my friend and this girl goes:

Annoying girl: Miss, pwedeng umurong?

Me (tempted to say): Miss, pwedeng mag-diet kayo ng friend mo?

Dalawa lang kayo sa jeep at pareho pa kayong nasa dulo, sabay magsasabi ng, “Pwedeng pakiabot?”

Suggestion #1: Pwede. Pero ayoko.

Suggestion #2: Kung ikaw nga di mo abot… ako pa?!

Suggestion #3: Pwedeng bili ka muna ng common sense atsaka ka sumakay ulit?

Puno naman ang jeep, pero ang mga tao dedma lang; lahat sila bingi, bulag at walang kamay na iabot ung pamasahe mo kay Manong Driver:

Suggestion #1: Manong, ayaw nila abot pamasahe ko eh. Pakisingil na lang sila ha… thanks!

Suggestion #2: Tara, Manong laro tayo…. saluan-pamasahe!

A little side story. This happened years ago (when I’m still more maldita *wink*) as I was queuing at the grocery and this girl before me left her empty basket on top of the counter. I unceremoniously picked it up and dropped it with a thud and she had the audacity to mutter under her breath, “Ang sungit naman.”

Me: (I smiled at her before saying) Ay hindi naman. Sa’yo lang. 

May pag-asa ba ko sa’yo o wala?

Suggestion #1: Ang mas magandang tanong… nanligaw ka ba?

Suggestion #2: Uyyy, sorry. Nagka-amnesia ka ba recently? Nasagot ko na yan ah?!!!

Ay loser! Mag-isa lang mag-lunch!

Kesa naman makasabay kita di ba!

If someone tells you, “Kung makaasta parang maganda!”

Suggestion #1: Hindi naman sa ganun. But compared to you, oo naman!

Suggestion #2: Hindi ko sinasabing maganda ako. Ang sinasabi ko lang, pangit ka. 

If someone tells you, “Ba’t ka nagmamaganda?”

Eh ba’t nagmamapanget ka?

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Overheard: Tale of Two Men and Their Trysts

It was drizzling yet again the other day so I was forced to take the FX from the office to the mall for some retail therapy. I usually just walk from the office since it’s just a 20-25 minutes walk and I look forward to walking because sitting in front of the PC for eight hours everyday is just about as sedentary as it gets.

I was seated at the back and two nitwits with testosterone a.k.a “men” were chatting and their conversation went something like:

Man 1: Pare, bakit wala kang credit card?

Man 2: Meron ako dati nung nambababae ako .

Man 1: Buti di ka nahuhuli ng asawa mo?

Man 2: Yung credit card statement ko naka-address sa office kaya di niya nakikita

(Then they both laughed their heads off)

Man 2: Atsaka, pare… pag ginamit mo un sa… ang naksulat dun pangalan ng restaurant kaya hindi halata.

And then they laughed their moronic heads off again.

 Boy, my eyes were rolling in sheer annoyance at the two of them. The other one felt proud that he never got caught and made a fool of his wife and this other idiot seems to like the idea of it all. I wanted to bang their heads against each other and then at the car window in the hope of getting some sense into their pathetic heads.

And in that 15-minute ride, one realization stood out.

Hindi lahat ng nambababae ay guwapo; masama na nga itsura, masama pa ugali.

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DFA: Detesting the Fouled-up Appointment

Passport renewal was one my most dreaded moments. Ever. I’ve heard of notorious stories about DFatawang Appointment system that DFA has implemented. And they are REAL!

My schedule was at 2PM. I was there at 1:20PM because they have an advise that you should be 30 minutes earlier than your appointment.

I finished Step 1 (Document Evaluation) 45 minutes later; done with Step 2 (Payment) in 5 minutes and finished Step 3 (Encoding & Photo Capture) 3 hours and 56 minutes later. I was there at the DFA for almost 6 hours. Ridiculous!

There was a power interruption around 4PM and they were running on generator. Their servers keep conking out and so it added a decade to our near century of waiting.

Just thought to share some tips in case you’ll be going there anytime soon.

Tips:

  • If you’re willing to shell out double the passport fee, around P1,800 (950 for regular processing), then go to an agency and have them process it for you. Though you still have to make a personal appearance for the biometrics, the waiting time is just around 30 minutes or less because you’ll be on priority.
  • Just be 30 minutes early for your appointment. It is useless to be there much earlier because they won’t let you in anyway. They will prioritize those who have an earlier appointment than you.
  • Eat before going to the DFA or bring water and something to snack on (wag naman kanin at ulam ;))
  • But if you opt not to, the Aseana Power Station across DFA houses restos and coffe shop where you can grab a quick bite. The Starbucks there offers free Wi-Fi. Super love!
  • Bring a book; fully charged laptop or any gadget you can play with (wholesome ones ok?) to while the time away. 😛

Though the waiting time is really pathetic, I took it as my “me” time and I found that it wasn’t so bad. Maybe moms out there who haven’t had some “me” time should consider having their passports renewed. 😉

And one thought crossed my mind… after all the hassles I went through, I may have yet another brilliant reason not to get married. LOL.

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That Sneaky Credit Card Promo

image via maxine.com

Dealing with credit card customer service representatives requires patience, tolerance and piety. Yes, I need my fear of God in dealing with them because I swear, if I could strangle them through the phone, I really would.

I discovered that annual fees were already charged for my two credit cards. So I have to call them and ask if they can reverse it since I always pay in full and on time (well, almost always). In short, I’ve got good credit standing. And so, much as I hate the idea of dealing with these CSRs, I did.

I decided to deal with EastWest Bank (formerly AIG) credit card first. The girl advised me to either spend P1,000 within the month so they can reverse the P1,200 annual fee or just use my points to offset it. I opted for the latter because I hardly use that card anyway.

Next, Metrobank. Here’s where the fun begins! After a few niceties and account verification, here’s what transpired (not verbatim, though) with the Metrobank CSR:

Me: I hope you can reverse the P1,500 annual fee because I always pay in full anyway and almost always  pay on time. Can you make some consideration for that?

CSR: Ma’am we can’t just reverse it but we do have an ongoing promo.

Me: Which is?

CSR: If you spend P4,000 within the next 30 days, give us a call and we’ll reverse the annual fee.

Me: (laughing sarcastically) Is this some kind of a joke? Kasi natatawa ako sobra.

CSR: (keeps quiet)

Me: I’m asking you to reverse P1,500 and you’re telling me to spend P4,000? You’ve got to be kidding me.

CSR: Ma’am that’s our ongoing promo and it’s to encourage you to use the card.

Me: Para malubog sa utang ung mga client niyo? Is that it? Don’t answer that. Anyway, just use the points I’ve earned for the annual fee.

CSR: Ma’am you need 10,000 points for the annual fee and you currently have  7, 165.

Me: Just deduct whatever and bill me the remaining.

CSR: Ma’am we’ll just deduct 5,000 points, so your annual fee is now only P750.

Me: Whatever. Thank you.

My heart is still palpitating ten minutes after putting the phone down. Are we really in good hands with them????

What a seriously preposterous promo! I swear! I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from spewing more sarcastic remarks on the poor CSR, who just happens to represent a sneaky company that dupes their clients with such an absurd promo.

To the few people who read this, I just thought to share some tips:

  • Always pay your outstanding balance in full (if you can).
  • Never charge today what you cannot pay for when your bill arrives.
  • Know your cut-off dates so you can buy more time before your purchases reflect on your bill.
  • Be aware of balance transfer promos. Some credit card companies offer as low as 1% interest if you avail of their card and transfer your outstanding balance from another card company.
  • Call your card company CSRs and ask them for balance conversion, where you will pay your outstanding balance in equal installments instead of paying the minimum amount. They usually offer 2% interest as oppose to the 3.25% interest plus finance charges if you can’t pay in full.
  • Always check your bill so you don’t get billed for stuff you didn’t purchase.

I am sharing this so we can stop these credit card companies from ripping us off with their so-called promos and shielding ourselves from the quicksand of debts.

~~ Make your credit work for you. Don’t work for your credit card. ~~

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September 1 in the Philippines

It’s September already and that signals the start of the Christmas season in our beloved Philippines. Filipinos (not Philippinos as some nationalities would refer to us in forums… which by the way I find rather looooong) find pleasure in celebrating Christmas this early and ending the celebration in January the following year, after the feast of the Three Kings.

And you know you’re in HaPinas when this early…

  • You hear Jose Mari Chan’s Christmas in Our Hearts being played in the radio until you get all sawa and umay from hearing it for the nth time;
  • One of your neighbors will start decorating their home with lights and an assortment of Santa Clauses, angels, snowmen and of course the Christmas lanterns  a.k.a The Parol;
  • You see those little Christmas lanterns (which come in various designs and materials) peddled in various streets of Manila. And these little lanterns will then find its way dangling in the rearview mirrors of jeepneys, buses, tricycles, cabs and just about any vehicle you can

    image via maxine.com

    come across in our beloved homeland; and

  • Based on personal experience, when the kids in our neighborhood suddenly remembers that I exist; so they make paramdam to me by being all nice and gooey doing the mano po. Not that I mind. I like wrapping candies and little stuff for them anyway. A small way of giving back the blessings I sometimes feel that I do not deserve. Pa-nice! hahaha

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