This post is inspired by our co-passengers onboard the van bound to Busuanga Airport. Obviously, these are Manileñas too, who happen to be so annoying that even the nicest in our group was peeved at them.
The seat can accommodate four people and I was already squeezed by the window as well as my friend and this girl goes:
Annoying girl: Miss, pwedeng umurong?
Me (tempted to say): Miss, pwedeng mag-diet kayo ng friend mo?
Dalawa lang kayo sa jeep at pareho pa kayong nasa dulo, sabay magsasabi ng, “Pwedeng pakiabot?”
Suggestion #1: Pwede. Pero ayoko.
Suggestion #2: Kung ikaw nga di mo abot… ako pa?!
Suggestion #3: Pwedeng bili ka muna ng common sense atsaka ka sumakay ulit?
Puno naman ang jeep, pero ang mga tao dedma lang; lahat sila bingi, bulag at walang kamay na iabot ung pamasahe mo kay Manong Driver:
Suggestion #1: Manong, ayaw nila abot pamasahe ko eh. Pakisingil na lang sila ha… thanks!
Suggestion #2: Tara, Manong laro tayo…. saluan-pamasahe!
A little side story. This happened years ago (when I’m still more maldita *wink*) as I was queuing at the grocery and this girl before me left her empty basket on top of the counter. I unceremoniously picked it up and dropped it with a thud and she had the audacity to mutter under her breath, “Ang sungit naman.”
Me: (I smiled at her before saying) Ay hindi naman. Sa’yo lang.
May pag-asa ba ko sa’yo o wala?
Suggestion #1: Ang mas magandang tanong… nanligaw ka ba?
Suggestion #2: Uyyy, sorry. Nagka-amnesia ka ba recently? Nasagot ko na yan ah?!!!
Ay loser! Mag-isa lang mag-lunch!
Kesa naman makasabay kita di ba!
If someone tells you, “Kung makaasta parang maganda!”
Suggestion #1: Hindi naman sa ganun. But compared to you, oo naman!
Suggestion #2: Hindi ko sinasabing maganda ako. Ang sinasabi ko lang, pangit ka.
If someone tells you, “Ba’t ka nagmamaganda?”
Eh ba’t nagmamapanget ka?