Tag Archives: love

The Confinement of Forever

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Sorry to burst your bubble. But there is no forever. Non. Nej. Nein.

And I say that with nary a trace of bitterness or sadness.

It’s just is.

When someone you love passes on, you cannot say you will be forever sad and cannot be happy anymore.

Believe me, you will be. At some point.

Time has a way of healing our pain. We start feeling better again and it’s nothing to be guilty about. Being ok doesn’t equate to forgetting them. Life is about accepting what is and recalling moments with them with fondness and maybe sharing a few laughs with people who knew them.

I think that’s what our loved ones wants for us. To continue living in their death.

When you finally found The One (nope, not Jet Li); that happy ending to your own fairy tale, you cannot say, “I’ll be forever happy because I’ve found you”.

Believe me, that “forever happy” will be tested with dirty clothes strewn on the floor; dirty dishes left lying on the sink; outfits haphazardly thrown in the closet that in your head looks so much better than the one they chose to wear… and the list goes on.

Even that most perfect person in your lovestruck eyes has flaws. And that goes both ways; your partner maybe thinking that too. It takes acceptance and a whole lot of love to see beyond those flaws.

So there really is no forever. We only have this lifetime. Make good of every single day. Be thankful that you get to wake up and start anew. That’s as forever as it can get.

Even tomorrow is promised to no one.

What makes you think you can promise forever to someone?

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#AngLoveParang : Commuting Edition

You’ll be surprised at how love can be easily associated to our daily commute.

#AngPagibigParang pagsakay lang yan sa tren.

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#AngPagibigParang EDSA at C5.

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#AngPagibigParang pag-abot ng pamasahe.

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At ang huli, #AngPagibigParang paghingi ng sukli.
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Why You Should Travel Solo (at Least Once)

This year has brought me a series of bipolar life episodes that sent me to cloud nine then sent me right back down to confusion. And in the midst of it all, I found the perfect cure for a reset: solo travel.

Of all that has happened in 2014, it was my solitary travel to Hanoi that really made my year. It was such a wonderful experience that I wish for friends and those who stumble across this blog to try traveling solo even just once in their lives.

Travel solo

You learn to love your own company.

Too often, we’re surrounded with family and friends and we love the happy chaos it brings. But when you’re alone, you learn to see just how wonderful your own company is.

It’s difficult at first. You feel stupid and awkward wandering or eating alone. You even feel scared; and that’s a good thing. Fear makes you more aware of your surroundings; keeps you on your toes and restrains you from doing anything remotely stupid.

Independence is empowering.

As you slowly start getting used to your own company, you begin feeling confident. You even smile at a fellow tourist as you walk along or at a family seated beside you at a cafe.

You even start feeling smart! I am such a dunce with reading maps and directions that I manage to get myself lost around Marikina when I jog. But when I was alone in Hanoi, I’ve learned to map the places I want to visit using the offline map and GPS on my smartphone.

You loosen up and meet new people.

Traveling as a group gives you that ‘protective shield’ that closes you to the people around you. But when you’re alone, you learn to open yourself a little to the people around you. And you will learn the wonders of a smile or a simple good morning to the person in front of you on the breakfast buffet queue can do for you.

The people I chatted with during breakfast, gave me a ride back to the airport; went out with a couple for dinner, shopping and drinks! And those two buddies I met on the city tour, they went shopping with me for a backpack and helped me get a good deal for it.

Less things to worry.

Traveling solo simplifies your itinerary: You go where and do what you want when you want to do it. You stop worrying whether your companion wants to go to a particular place or if another is too tired to take another step. You just go.

Appreciate your friends and family more.

And since you’re traveling solo, you think of your friends or siblings when you see something funny and you don’t have anyone to laugh with. Or you ate a local dish and you thought they will love it too.

You also found a place where you can take your friends and loved ones and be their personal tour guide.

So for the coming year, conquer your fear of traveling solo. Start with having coffee for your me time and just do people-watching. Don’t hide behind a book. Take photos if you like. Then level up to going around the metro on your own. Try Intramuros. And when you feel you’re ready, go somewhere where you’ve never been before. Arm yourself with info on the place you’re visiting and a lot of good sense.

Travel by yourself. For yourself. One day, you’ll be thankful you did.

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For the Love of Coffee

The horrible traffic jams in the metro has unsweetened the commute for us lowly taxpayers and it takes more than sunshine-y disposition to win in this losing battle every single day. Well, traffic jam is one equalizer and seeing an annoyed guy driving a luxury car stuck beside the van I’m in made me a little thankful that I can doze off whenever I want while he sits there hopelessly fuming behind the wheel.

But I didn’t doze off. My mind wandered off to punchlines, comebacks, coffee and how relative it is to love and attraction. 😉

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I’ve always thought that waiting for my colossal cup of brew is worth the wait. I rather wait for a fresh brew than settle for what’s left on the coffee pot. Never settle. I cannot stress that enough.

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I like how being with you perks me up like a good cup of coffee in the morning.

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Oh, you like it black?  How fitting for your  personality.

Bitter and dark.

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I like my coffee hot and strong. Like you.

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This iced coffee reminds me so much of you. Cold.

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Cold nights. Hot coffee. Warm hugs.

Just perfect.

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Stale coffee is thrown away because it leaves a bad taste in the mouth;

As you should to those toxic and negative people around you.

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Enjoy the last few hours before the daily grind begins. Cheers to a new week! 🙂

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Extensionality

A spread from Bradley Trevor Greive's book, The Simple Truth About Love.

A spread from Bradley Trevor Greive’s book, The Simple Truth About Love.

Had I placed “love” in the title, I’m sure more would have bothered to read this. 🙂

I have nothing against the word ‘love’ or  the often highly regarded day: Valentine’s Day or as others would sarcastically refer to as Singles Awareness Day. I love “love”. I’m in love with love and everything that comes with it. But over the years, this day has become so overrated and superficial. It reached a point where love has been reduced to an exhibit of one’s financial capabilities: a huge bouquet of flowers, a basket laden with chocolates and stuffed toy, jewelries or a very expensive dinner that could easily feed a family of five.

While material expression of love has its merits, your grasp for the reality of your capacity should not be overpowered by your desire to brag unnecessarily. Spending for something beyond your means to impress or show your utmost adoration for your partner that you end up in debt after is just ridiculous.

Love is more than that. It’s almost hard to define but I do know that love makes you stare into space with that faraway look and stupid smile on your lips. Love may just as well be sitting quietly with that someone and yet feels like you’re having the best conversation ever. And now that I think about it, love is wanting to be better, or if possible, be the best version of you without coercion whatsoever.

Extensionality is a new word I learned today; thanks to my brother who shared a link on Jacque Fresco. Extensionality in essence is the ability to extend another person’s mind or life or possibilities. Wouldn’t that be nice? To have or be that person to another who will make you realize your possibilities and let you understand the world a little better? I thought, that IS love.

Love has been overly romanticized in movies and fairy tales; like love is some sort of magic that makes everything all rosy and shiny. It sets an expectation so high about what love should be that eventually sets us up for a  glaring disappointment in our relationships.

Love is never steady. It fluctuates. Like you love yourself sometimes, other times you don’t. You’re lovestruck with your partner one time, another time, you’re just ok. And sometimes you just hate them for the littlest mistake they made that on any other day wouldn’t have bothered you at all. But it doesn’t mean you love them any less. It’s just the way it is. Therein lies the wonder of experiencing these fluctuations in love and life, for that matter; it makes us appreciate those moments of sheer happiness because we have experienced those moments of sheer desolation. For how can we know the difference if we have not experienced the other? 🙂

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