Extensionality

A spread from Bradley Trevor Greive's book, The Simple Truth About Love.

A spread from Bradley Trevor Greive’s book, The Simple Truth About Love.

Had I placed “love” in the title, I’m sure more would have bothered to read this. 🙂

I have nothing against the word ‘love’ or  the often highly regarded day: Valentine’s Day or as others would sarcastically refer to as Singles Awareness Day. I love “love”. I’m in love with love and everything that comes with it. But over the years, this day has become so overrated and superficial. It reached a point where love has been reduced to an exhibit of one’s financial capabilities: a huge bouquet of flowers, a basket laden with chocolates and stuffed toy, jewelries or a very expensive dinner that could easily feed a family of five.

While material expression of love has its merits, your grasp for the reality of your capacity should not be overpowered by your desire to brag unnecessarily. Spending for something beyond your means to impress or show your utmost adoration for your partner that you end up in debt after is just ridiculous.

Love is more than that. It’s almost hard to define but I do know that love makes you stare into space with that faraway look and stupid smile on your lips. Love may just as well be sitting quietly with that someone and yet feels like you’re having the best conversation ever. And now that I think about it, love is wanting to be better, or if possible, be the best version of you without coercion whatsoever.

Extensionality is a new word I learned today; thanks to my brother who shared a link on Jacque Fresco. Extensionality in essence is the ability to extend another person’s mind or life or possibilities. Wouldn’t that be nice? To have or be that person to another who will make you realize your possibilities and let you understand the world a little better? I thought, that IS love.

Love has been overly romanticized in movies and fairy tales; like love is some sort of magic that makes everything all rosy and shiny. It sets an expectation so high about what love should be that eventually sets us up for a  glaring disappointment in our relationships.

Love is never steady. It fluctuates. Like you love yourself sometimes, other times you don’t. You’re lovestruck with your partner one time, another time, you’re just ok. And sometimes you just hate them for the littlest mistake they made that on any other day wouldn’t have bothered you at all. But it doesn’t mean you love them any less. It’s just the way it is. Therein lies the wonder of experiencing these fluctuations in love and life, for that matter; it makes us appreciate those moments of sheer happiness because we have experienced those moments of sheer desolation. For how can we know the difference if we have not experienced the other? 🙂

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