Specific Provisions For Inclusion in The Cybercrime Law

Netizens are once more riled up with the possibility of muting our voices with the implementation of the much-criticized Republic Act No. 10175, known as the Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012.

I am all for taking responsibility for our tweets and posts but the idea of repressing what we think because of the possibility of jail time, is too much. People who experienced the harshness that came with freely expressing one’s beliefs during the Martial Law era know this too well.

But just to ease the stress of tweeting-and-posting-on-tiptoes, I thought these specific provisions should be considered:

Section 4a: Cybercrime Offenses for Facebook Users

  1. Excessive photo editing of profile pictures leading to deception of other users.
  2. Posting of shirtless profile pictures taken from the bathroom with dirty tiles as the background.
  3. Related to the above, shirtless profile pictures should be limited to one picture per location. No repetitive pictures taken from the same bathroom.
  4. Sending countless game requests and other annoying apps.
  5. Posting status updates that are best shared with a human being or anyone who will care to listen. Try a psychologist.
  6. Creating your fan page, liking it yourself and pestering people to like it too.
  7. Posting those abhorrent e-chain letters because non-repost thereof will result to your death five minutes.
  8. Excessive cyber PDA, and that includes photos and status updates dripping with such sweetness, you can actually pour it on your pancakes.

Section 4b: Cybercrime Offenses for Twitter Users

  1. If you are not a celebrity, flooding the timeline of your followers with every step, every breath, every blink you take that makes people go “WTH?!!!” (actually, WTF?@#$?!!). Sample below is in actual sequence. 
    • Woke up.
    • Hayyyy! So sleepy pa din.
    • Shower time!
    • Eating breakfast now.
    • Off to work/school now.
    • Traffic. Ugh.
  1. Tweeting, “Follow my personal account >>> ______” like you are a celebrity. Vahkkettt?! Sumi-celeb ka?. (Note: The two preceding sentences are but expressions for emphasis.)
  2. The 140 characters is set as a limit not a requirement. You are not required to use it all up and tell us the story of your day.
  3. Related to the above, excessive sharing of how you spent your day when you only have one follower.
  4. Excessive retweeting.

Section 4c: Cybercrime Offenses for use of Beki and Jeje Language

The intentional use of gay lingo, beki lingo, gayspeak, jeje lingo and/or jejespeak in your tweets, posts, and/or memes to deceive the IDIOT  will only aggravate the crime you commit. The IDIOT now have sophisticated gadgets that are capable of deciphering the meaning behind such languages.

Photo taken from: http://www.wheninmanila.com


1 Comment

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One response to “Specific Provisions For Inclusion in The Cybercrime Law

  1. Pingback: Skimming Through 2012 | Jumbled Coffee Thoughts

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