It’s always comforting when people who get to know me find it odd that I’m unattached. I don’t know how to take it nor like to put too much thought on it and so I just take it positively. 😀
I remember this one particular friend who told me, I should write a sort of ad via blogpost why men should date me. I almost did a cartwheel and backflip at how preposterous the idea was. That is a whole different level of desperation if I may say so.
But as I think about it, it brought me to a whole other perspective. As dateless as I am of late, I would love for you, singles out there, to date that person who makes all the tiring wait well worth it. Regardless of age and gender, this holds true for all of us.
Having had my share of real and pseudo relationships, I brought upon myself self-imposed mishaps because of bad choices (then again, there is always that favorite mistake! 😉 ). I may not be proud of them but going through them sure as hell gave life with just enough spark but not too much to feel burned.
Waiting ever so sucks. Waiting gives you that quiet sense of desperation (and sometimes despondency) as you watch your friends and officemates get hitched while you remain (hopefully, fabulous) single. Waiting makes you bitchy when you see odd couples, you go, “Now that is true love right there.”
Singles, on a very good day, are actually ok and bask in the awesomeness of their freedom. But when (well-meaning and nosey) friends, neighbors and relatives bug you with that all too familiar question, “Eh ba’t single ka pa?” you start to question the validity of your so-called single happy existence, you almost want to look in the mirror and ask “Bakit nga ba?” Now, the negative vibes are having a field day in the poor single’s bedroom.
That said, being single should never be a reason to be desperate. Waiting sucks. Big effin’ time. But it should never be a reason to settle for whoever is showering you with attention, words and gifts even though you do not feel a miniscule of interest, like or attraction. Promises of love and devotion at this crappy courtship stage are as empty as the roads on a Sunday until these are tested by circumstances and withstood fights and arguments.
They say to give the person a chance. So give it. But never force yourself to like the person just because he’s there dog-eyed in love with you. And because you don’t want to be labeled as bitchy for breaking his heart, you say “Yes” but deep inside you wish to break up with him just as fast as you’ve given him your answer. You both deserve better.
You deserve to date someone who is not only physically appealing to you but someone who will interest you. Seriously, would like to date someone who is so obtuse your mind dried up after minutes of talking?
Keep in mind to find someone who can stimulate not just your eyes but your brain as well; as you get older and grayer, you will need all the stimulation you need; even if it amounts to just your brain getting stimulated. 😉
On a side note, I do not understand men who get intimidated with a smart woman or someone who can speak her mind. C’mon! Shouldn’t that be a plus factor (ganda points)? Why should it scare you away?
Date someone who gets along with their parents and siblings; friends and officemates, of course. More importantly, date someone who shows manners and kindness even to waiters, guards, parking attendants, janitors, and beggars even; how he treats these people will give you a peek of the person’s character. It is not how he treats his equals but how he treats those who are not in his league that matters.
Wait. It ever so sucks to wait but I believe that good things come to those who wait. So let’s wait it out. You and I both deserve the best. Getting in a relationship or getting hitched is not a race that only the fittest wins. As I keep saying, desperation is so unappealing and that goes for both genders.
One cannot help feeling hopeless at times; as though He has forgotten His best laid plans for us that we ask, ‘Is there really a someone or is this just one fat joke?’ But wait it out. Meanwhile, enjoy the moments with your family, friends and your me time. Prettify yourself while you’re at it. Get a new hobby and be good at it. Read a real book and leaf through its pages. Enjoy singlehood and don’t treat it like a curse. It may well be at times but life is just too short to waste away on bitterness and jealousy over someone else’s status.