These are not just dolls with huge eyes and coarse, stiff hair that became a must-have for kids in the 90s. They actually live among us and some of us have the sheer misfortune of encountering them and being acquainted with them.
I hope this helps you spot a troll and how not to trollify yourself. 😀
FeelingerTroll: Those who think that you actually thought of them when you made a status update (when in truth not even their shadow crossed your mind when you did). And then they will feel so hurt because in their inane minds, they think the post is meant for them. WTHIWWY?
One incident that stands out in my memory is the photo I reposted about the NatGeo Run. It was actually a public post that a friend reposted on Facebook (his thoughts), which I thought was pretty ironic and so I reposted. And then, lo and behold! Someone actually thought that the post was meant for him just because he ran. And off he went in detail why people like me should not judge based on one photo alone. I learned later on, he was one of the guilty ones who littered, hence the need to defend himself and clear things up like he is the organizer.
KomentarisTroll: Those who comment without thoroughly reading a post #MakaCommentLang. There is a serious epidemic of this kind of troll in satire articles like this. Make sure you don’t miss out on the comments. 😉
RanTroll: Those who incessantly rant on Facebook or Twitter; every single post is so negative you wondered if dementors are actually real and they attack us lowly muggles.
Lovestruck Troll: Those who profess their love for each other so public and so often, you actually start to think: Do you keep on saying that to convince us or yourself? It’s probably just me; so I’m sincerely happy for you if you are. 😉 I just believe that grand and public professions of love are not daily requirements for a relationship to work.
ShareTroll: Those who share even the most mundane thing they are doing with their lives. Now cooking. Now eating. Now sleeping. Understandably, that’s how you roll. I get it. But maybe you can make it visible to people who actually care? Or do you think we should feel honored and privileged that you update us with the details of your life, 24×7?
The Braggart and the Blessed: Those who inconspicuously post their ‘blessings’ especially on Facebook. There is a fine line between sincerely thanking Him for the blessings we receive (an expensive gift, a new house/condo, etc.) and (quietly) bragging to your friends what you have.
Real Life Trolls
These kinds we actually bumped into almost everywhere.
VITroll: Those who feel entitled not to queue because they are friends with the barker or the driver. Those who ride shuttles/FX can so relate to this 😉 And so even when there is an obvious long queue, they refuse to fall in line instead, they will overtake everyone else and thick-facedly take the front seat.
IngraTroll1: Girls who think it is the men’s obligation to offer their seat in public transpos like bus, jeep or train, hence they do not feel inclined to thank them. That is an act of kindness, ergo, solicits a smile and a ‘thank you’. Hindi ikinakaganda ang pagiging suplada nang wala sa lugar.
IngraTroll2: People who do not know how to thank their co-passengers for giving their fare to the jeepney/fx drivers. They maybe seated closer to the driver but it is not their obligation to get your fare. Hindi sila konduktor.
AirconTroll: Those who hoard the aircon vent unto themselves just because their proximity allows them to maneuver it regardless if other people are sweating pellets already.
Hollerback Troll: These are people onboard public transpos who talk on their phones so loud that after their conversation, you already know the reason for their breakup or what the family feud is all about or that their 16-year old neighbor is impregnated by their 30-something neighbor.
Music BlastTroll: These are people who set the volume of their players so loud that you can actually play Name That Tune with your co-passengers.
CamTrolls: Those who wear their DSLR cameras around their neck like an accessory to complete their outfit. Kung makayabang naman talaga. *raised eyebrow*
DinoTroll: Those whose brains are so miniscule you are surprised they are still living among us and not extinct like the dinosaurs. But Tagalog translate it far better: makitid ang utak.
One good example. When someone tacitly declares war with people who are associated with his enemy. Just because this person had a row with another, the diminutive brain processes it like this: Dahil magkaaway tayo, kaaway ko din yung mga taong sa pakiramdam ko kampi sa’yo. This is actually a first grader brain in a 30-something body. * Apologies if I have offended a mature first grader 😉 *
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool
than to speak out and remove all doubt.
– Mark Twain