The B!@+cH and the The Barbs

image via Crabby Road

I am not my (sometimes) horrible self but I might as well take off some of  the sarcasm from my system before it explodes into mammoth proportions.

These two happened recently in an exchange with my friends.

  • So one of my guy friends made paramdam; he messaged me and our exchange went something like:

guy: nagpaparamdam lang… musta ka na?

me: (after saying something like I don’t have access to Facebook anymore in the office then said…) ok lang naman. ikaw?

guy: ok lang din

me: buti naman ok tayong dalawa!

Jeeeezzz! I really hope we can talk about something more substantial (even flirty would be welcomed you know!) next time.I’m sure we can do much better than that. hahaha

  • Then one friend commented on one of my profile pics in FB: “Bat kami cropped sa picture?”

Baket? Page niyo toh? 

I have a  feeling that this friend actually enjoys these barbs. Well, we’re still friends until now! hahahaha

And these are lines that I really hope will just be “theoretical” and I will not find the opportunity to use any of them on those bad days when my evil twin sister surfaces:

  • When someone says, “…but I did my best..”:

Ah ganon?! Best mo ‘toh? Such low standards to live by. Really.

  • Not everyone will like you, so if one doesn’t like me:

Di ako ipinanganak para i-please kayong lahat.

(Say this with a pat on the shoulder and a sweet smile) Dear, thank you for sparing me the trouble of being nice to you.

Ah ganon? Ok lang. Should I be bothered that you don’t?

Ok, so is this the part where I bawl out and cry? Sorrehh! Not gonna happen!

Di mo ko gusto? Sayang… dami ko pa namang gustong gawin sa’yo (then in his mind he’s saying: Kung ikaw lang gagawa niyan sa’kin, wag na…. me: ah leche! choosy! di ka naman kagandahang lalake… 😛)

Sa totoo lang, you come across as someone smart… I’m sure, madali kang matuto…. na mahalin ako. <<<LOL!>>>

How this post ended up with cheesy pinoy pickup lines… I’m not really sure.

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