Bitchy Comebacks

I’m having some bouts of nastiness again (last night, actually) and as my sister would say it, “I’m just being horrid”.

So while I’m at it, I might as well put it to good use and share some useful comebacks when you encounter these etiquette-challenged individuals. ūüėČ

I bet this will be a growing list.

When a guy starts to get fresh on you:

Naligo ka ba? (hopefully he answers ‘Yes’ or ‘Oo’)… Mukha nga. PRESKO mo eh!

When an annoying person tells you, “Lam mo, tumataba ka!”:

Suggestion #1: Lam mo ikaw, pumapanget ka!

Suggestion #2: Di bale, diyeta lang kailangan ko. Ikaw siyensya.

Bakit di ka pa nagaasawa?

Di pa siya annulled sa’yo eh.

Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend?

Bakit split na kayo?

Sa mga¬†umuupo sa dulo ng jeep sabay¬†ipaabot ung pamasahe sa’yo¬†kahit¬†malayo¬†ka din sa¬†driver:

No words necessary… Isang tingin. Taas ng kilay. Sabay dedma.

Sa mga babaeng sumasakay ng jeep at nililipad ung buhok papunta sa mukha mo:

Suggestion #1: Miss, last time I checked, di ako kumakain ng buhok. Pakihawakan mo lang yang buhok mo.

Suggestion #2: (I actually did this¬†out of sheer annoyance)… I tugged her hair ever so lightly¬†(then she looked at me)…¬†then I said to her, “Ay sorry, kala ko kasi hair ko eh.”

When a store cashier tells you,¬†“Ma’am wala po akong panukli eh.”

And that is supposed to be my problem?

When an obviously reed thin person tells you, “Grabe, ang taba taba ko na talaga!”

Ay oo nga! Naku dear… you really need to go on a diet. You are sooooooo huge!

When someone who just won’t let you put one over him/her; as in hindi magpapatalo on just about anything:

Ahhhh! Wala ka sa lolo ko!¬† **works like gem everytime…. well to those who aren’t so dense to realize that you’re being sarcastic already.**

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7 Comments

Filed under Random Blurbs

7 responses to “Bitchy Comebacks

  1. Ivy

    Nice, ang taray ng lola ko.. hehe!

  2. fourkaster

    bwehehe..

    natawa naman ako dito. nagising ako ha..

    i miss my bitchy life..and im now looking forward for that.

  3. fourkaster

    nyhahahaha.. natawa ako dito..

    in fairness, i miss my bitchy life..

    and i think, it’s time.. looking forward for that ‘bitchy me’!

  4. jumbledcoffeethoughts

    It’s nice to be a beeotch every now and then…. hahaha

  5. panalo to! i might just use one of the lines once in a while.. hahahaha

  6. Pingback: Thoughts on the Go | Jumbled Coffee Thoughts

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