It’s almost a month since my last entry and not that there’s nothing to write; there’s actually a lot. Just that my thoughts have gone into different directions and i can’t get them into one place long enough so I can write something decent.
I celebrated my birthday this month… on the first and most boring day of the week — Sunday! Of all days! I don’t know but this birthday just came and went on just like any ordinary day, which by the way, I’m grateful for because I reached an age in a single girl’s life that you just want to stop remembering how old you really are. And maybe if I don’t really celebrate it, it will just pass by without reminding me that I have lived for a score and a half and a year or so.
Now, don’t get the idea that I’m a lonely old hag. I am happy (most of the time) with my good ol’ single life (or the lack of it.. hahaha). It’s just that the society we live in, seems to see singlehood as a curse, a sad state to be in, and much a worse, a disease to be avoided at all cost. Like you cannot be happy and single at the same time. They give you this sad look saying, “Oh poor girl! She’s halfway through life and there’s no man beside her.” … or a look that says, “OMG! Your biological clock is ticking… you should really start doing something.” Like what? Go on panic mode, hit the street and start tapping men on their shoulders and tell them, “I’m single… interested?” Sorry, I ain’t desperate.
Singlehood, just like the “highly-recommended” married life, has its share of blessings and curses. I have friends who envy me because I’m single and get to travel when I have the chance; I get to buy the stuff I like without thinking whether I need it or not. On the other hand, I also know some people who look down on single people just because they’re married. Like they’re better off than you because they have someone to grow old with… even if they are miserable. Thinking in a twisted way, “At least I’m married. Whereas you, you’re alone”. Like I cannot be alone and happy. Like I’m such a loser because I don’t have a walking testosterone beside me.
For one, you should not go into a relationship because you’re broken or incomplete. Yes, the Jerry Maguire movie romanticized the line “You complete me.” But for me, you should be whole when you go into a relationship. It should not take another being to complete you; because what happens if one goes? You’re broken all together? Who should put back the pieces? Another person again? Then that is going to be one vicious cycle.
Two whole beings sharing one relationship is what I think I’ll really be green envy with. I know a couple who can just sit in silence and it won’t be awkward but comfortable. They do not necessarily finish each other’s sentences but they can talk for hours about something so mundane (even silly) or something so profound and not notice that time just flew by, yet it didn’t matter because they’re together.
For me, it’s all a matter of perspective. You can whine all day about how unfair life is (even God) for letting you wind up in what people tag as the Sorry State. I say, take this chance to enjoy what you have right now, whether you’re single or married. “Single” and “married” are merely titles that we put on the life stage we are in. We only have two options:
be happy, content, embrace and cherish the moments.
We are treading on borrowed time here. Tomorrow isn’t even promised to any of us. And if we do live to see tomorrow, it’s a privilege; we must make the most out of it and not waste it on our own pity party.